Full Mario Alchemist
by mrsaturn123
Summary: Edward finds a mysterious green pipe and falls in finding himself in the mushroom kingdom! Sweet!
1. The Mysterious Pipe

Me-Finally! My first anime fanfic! Plus it's FMA!

Edward-This better be good.

Me-It's fine…if you like Super Mario Bros.

Edward-What?

Mario-Oh cool, I'm in it!

Me-Yeppers! Now on with the story!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or Mario or Nintendo or nothin'. (sob)

FULL MARIO ALCHEMIST 

CHAPTER 1: Into the Pipe We Go!

It was an oddly quiet day at central. No major activity was going on. A fairly short teenage boy with long blonde hair in a braid wearing a long red coat was walking down a long marble corridor following a man with short black hair dressed in the usual navy blue military uniform also wearing white gloves. The boy looked aggravated.

"So," Edward sighed ", what is it this time colonel?" Ed slouched as he walked.

"I want to show you something that appeared in one of the cellars, no one else can confirm it so I thought I might as well ask you," Roy replied. He too had a hint of annoyance in his voice. He opened an old wooden door and the two walked in. Roy grabbed a lantern off the wall and the two descended down the stone stairs into the cold damp cellar.

There wasn't much in the cellar at all, but some crates, barrels, and a few cobwebs. But there was something else peculiar, however, standing alone in the middle of the room.

"Is that a pipe?" Ed asked in confusion pointing at the large green tube ", because it doesn't look like it's attached to anything, and there aren't any other pipes in this room."

"I know," the colonel replied ", that's why I want you to check it out." He pointed towards it. Ed knew the drill (not that large random green pipes appear in the cellars or anywhere else for that matter often). He slumped over to the enormous green pipe. It was taller than himself so he had to hang over the rim to look inside. Roy chuckled to himself.

"Just shut up and give me the lantern!" Ed growled holding out his hand impatiently. Roy passed him the lantern with no further questions (or wise-cracks about Edward's size). When Ed grabbed it he didn't expect it to be so bright, so the light blinded him for a second and he dropped it. He made a quick grab for it but missed and fell in himself.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" Ed shouted as he fell into the deep pipe.

"Full metal?" Roy ran over to the pipe. He leaned in ", Dammit, gotta get some help!" Roy ran back up the stone stairs to go get someone to help get the elder Elric out of there.

Me-So didjya like the first chapter?

Ed-That wasn't much of anything special…

Me-It gets funnier and overall better later, beginnings are supposed to be not as good as the middles! Der!

Mario-When do I show up?

Me-Chapter 3.

Mario-Darn it!

Me-Y'know you can say dammit…

Mario-Mario games are rated "E" so I'm rated "E", I can't say any profane language.

Me-Big words for you.

Mario-Thank y… I mean hey!

Me-Tee hee… please review!


	2. A Warm Welcome?

Me-Hooray! I hast updated and stuffs!

Ed-Yeah, and?

Me-…I'm happy.

Mario-Oh just let the people read!

DISCLAIMER:I own nothin'…yeah.

Full Mario Alchemist 

CHAPTER 2: A Warm Welcome?

Down Edward fell into the depths of the mysterious pipe. Finally he dropped out of the other end of the pipe. Edward braced himself to hit something hard, but when he hit he landed on something soft. He looked around and what he saw amazed him. He was sitting upon a huge mushroom! He looked at his surroundings; there were more mushrooms around him too! He peered over the edge to see a looooooong drop. He gulped and looked into the distance to see a cliff that lead to flat land. He looked at the pipe that had just spat him out and saw it was gone! Edward looked a little nervous, but he decided to take his chances with the mushrooms rather than stupidly tell the pipe to come back or something.

Edward carefully began to hop from shroom to shroom. He stopped to see something totally weird. A floating box with a "?" on it hovered near him. He stared at it for a good thirty seconds with a totally confused expression no doubt trying to figure out how that could logically happen.

"This place is…weird," he scratched the back of his head in confusion still staring at the orange "?" box ", is this a dream?"

"You better hope it is," a strange voice said from behind him. Ed turned around to see a strange yellow turtle like creature inside and egg shell smirking menacingly. "But unfortunately for you, it isn't," he got into a battle stance. Edward stared blankly at the weird creature standing before him ignoring the "?" box he was originally staring at.

"Are you some kind of talking chimera?" Ed pointed raising an eyebrow. There was a short moment of silence while the two just stared at each other.

"A chi-what?" the egg thing asked in confusion ", I am the great, Master Jr. Troopa, and you are on my turf!" Ed stared some more at that last comment, then he cracked.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Ed burst out laughing ", You? Great? What a load of CRAP!" Ed continued to laugh and Jr. Troopa did _not_ look happy. "You're a pint-sized little turtle…thing stuck in an egg shell, and you're mouthin' off to me? You aren't even a fourth of my size! Man I thought I was short! HA HA HA HA…," he paused at his last comment realizing what he just said ", WAIT A SECOND! I'M NOT SHORT AT ALL! I MEAN, I SORTA AM, I MEAN…AAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"Huh?" Jr. Troopa just stared at him like he was crazy ", Enough! I'm gonna teach you what happens when you laugh at the almighty, JR. TROOPA! EN GARDE!" He charged at Ed full speed. Ed was already ticked as it was so he just booted the little egg turtle in the face. That releaved some of his stress. Jr. Troopa landed on his back ", Ow…."

Ed turned around and shrugged hopping to the next giant-sized mushroom. "Hey!" Jr. Troopa shouted having trouble getting up because of his shell ",You get back here! I'm not finished with you yet! HEY! Are you listening to me? GET BACK HEEEEEEERE!"

Of course, Ed paid no attention and just hopped until he reached land. _Phew,_ he thought glad to be away from that little egg freak, and for being on land again. But soon after he took a couple steps he was halted again, only this time it wasn't just one. "Damn…"

Me-Poor Ed…

Ed-What?

Me-You just keep having problems…

Ed-What's the supposed to mean?

Mario-It means review, and will I be in the next chapter?

Me-Yes you will.

Mario-Yipee!


	3. Enter Mario

Me-Yay! I have finally having updatingness.

Ed-What?

Me-Just read.

Full Mario Alchemist 

CHAPTER 3: Enter Mario

Several strange turtle-like creatures circled Edward. He was trapped.

"Great more turtle things?" Ed was starting to get ticked off ", What do you want?"

The Great Lord Bowser has ordered us to head in this direction," One of them said ", so that means you have to move!"

"Why should I?" Ed asked being his usual stubborn self. He was also mad about being here in the first place, wherever _here_ was.

"If you won't move for us, then we'll move you by force," the turtle thing replied.

"Well have fun with that," Ed taunted, he seemed to be enjoying making these guys mad. They looked weak so it didn't bother him one bit. Suddenly someone jumped on the turtle's head knocking it over on it's back. The person was a short, chubby, middle-aged man with a big nose and a nice moustache. He wore blue overalls, a red shirt, white gloves, and a red cap with an "M" on it. "What the…," Ed stared blankly at all the chaos happening right in front of him. The man had bounced from that turtle to another. The next turtle went into it's shell and then the man kicked the shell at the others bowling them all down. Ed watched with a look of confusion as the mustachioed man beat every last one of the weird turtles down until none were left standing.

"Who the heck are you?" Ed finally asked the random guy who stood there triumphantly ", I was doing just fine until you showed up!" Mario looked at him.

"Well your welcome," the man replied sarcastically ", and the name's Mario, who are you?"

"Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist!" Ed answered heroically.

"The Fullmetal what?" Mario asked having no clue what an alchemist was.

"Alchemist," Ed answered shocked at his reaction ", do you live under a rock?"

"No, nevermind," Mario sighed ", It looks like your lost though, so maybe you should tag along with me until we get back to Toad Town."

"To where?" Ed lost him there.

"Okay on the way there, tell me your story," Mario proposed ", and I'll explain things to you because it doeson't look like you've ever been to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Where?" Ed shouted. Mario just sighed.

"Like I said, I'll explain things on the way to town so let's just go." So with that Mario and Edward headed down the path to Toad Town.

Me-That was short and boring I know but it was just to introduce Mario to Edward a little.

Ed-Mario's weird.

Mario-Look who's talking shorty!

Ed-WHAT'D YOU SAY?

Me-Just review…


	4. Luigi's Mistake

Me-Hello! I've updated again a few seconds after I updated!

Ed-Uh…yeah…get on with it…

Full Mario Alchemist 

CHAPTER 4: Luigi's Mistake

Mario and Edward walked down a path in a grassy meadow. The sun was shining brightly and the sound of a nearby brook could be heard.

"So you're in this military?" Mario asked.

"Yep," Ed answered.

"And you're what is called a state alchemist?" Mario asked further.

"That's right."

"Never heard of that before," Mario replied.

"Well you think I've ever heard of this place before either?" Ed scratched the back of his head.

"Nope," Mario answered ", but I do think I know how you got here." A look of excitement crossed Edwards face as he thought he now might be getting home.

"Really? How?" Ed asked excitedly.

"I think you found a warp zone," Mario answered. Edward suddenly lost all of his "excitedness".

"A what?" he asked again.

"A warp zone," Mario answered ", mysterious green pipes that are scattered all over warping people to different places!" Ed seemed totally lost. Suddenly someone hopped out of a random pipe in front of the two. He looked just like Mario only taller, slimmer, had a thicker moustache, and wore a green shirt and hat that had and "L" on it instead.

"Hello Mario!" the man waved to Mario.

"Who's that?" Ed asked Mario.

"That's my little brother Luigi," Mario introduced the two ", Luigi, Edward, Edward, Luigi," They shook hands looking totally confused.

"Hey bro, where did this little runt come from anyway?" Luigi asked. Mario was about to answer when he was interrupted.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU COULD BLOW HIM AWAY WITH A PAPER FAN?" Edward yelled at Luigi who practically jumped out of his skin.

"I didn't say any of that!" Luigi backed up ", Man, short size and short fuse, where do they make these guys?" Luigi soon learned he would regret saying that.

"I'M NOT SHORT YOU JERK!" Edward started to chase after Luigi who ran for his life ", Wait'll I get my hands on you! I'LL TEACH YOU TO CALL _ME_ SHORT!"

"Calm down kid!" Luigi ran away from Ed as fast as he could.

"Edward! He was just messing around!" Mario started to chase after Ed to stop him from smashing Luigi into a pulp. They ran down the path until Luigi saw a pipe ahead and hopped in. That didn't stop Ed who just jumped right on in. Mario followed suit. The chase was now taken underground. The three ran through the cave when suddenly a patch of piranha plants popped out of the ground. Luigi jumped on each of their heads bouncing off. Ed clapped his hands together and shoved them into the plants. In a flash of light they were reduced to a pile of mulch.

_What the heck was that,_ Mario thought as he continued to chase after Edward. Luigi looked back, yelped and continued running faster afraid of having a similar fate as the piranha plants. The end of the cave was near but luckily Luigi a pipe sticking out of the ceiling. He quickly jumped into it. Without thinking, so did Ed and Mario soon after. They were back above ground and ran for a few more seconds when Mario finally caught up and grabbed Edward by the arm. Ed fell and Mario grabbed hold of him with all his strength. Luigi stopped breathing heavily.

"LEMME GO!" Ed squirmed like mad.

"CALM DOWN!" Mario yelled in Ed's ear. He stopped squirming to hold his head because his head was in pain and his ears were ringing.

"Hey look!" Luigi pointed up ", We're here!" He pointed at a large arch that said in large letters "TOAD TOWN".

"Would you look at that," Mario just stared at the sign with a slight look of relief.

Me-It's funny when Ed gets mad

Ed-Shut up! It wasn't funny!

Mario-I thought it was.

Luigi-Me too.

Me-Ha! Three on one! We win! It was funny!

Ed-Just shut up and review!


	5. Welcome to Toad Town

Me-Hooray for chapter 5! I really need to update faster…

Mario-Oh well…

Bowser-Shut up and get the story started!

Me-Yeah, yeah…enjoy!

Full Mario Alchemist

Chapter 5: Welcome to Toad Town

The group walked into the Toad Town Square. It was bustling activity, toads walked the streets playing, talking, shopping and doing whatever it is toads happen to do all day.

"Edward," Mario gestured ", Welcome to Toad Town."

Ed stared at the town in astonishment. He was lost in a world that seemed to defy logic and even the laws of physics and he had no idea that it existed. Just to make matters worse, it was a world full of mushrooms. Why mushrooms he had no idea. He suddenly thought of his younger brother Alphonse. What was his brother doing right now anyways?

"Hey Mario," Luigi grabbed his brother and put him back to back with Edward ", I think you're shorter than this Edward, and you're a heck of a lot older." Mario gave his younger brother a look that told him he should shut up before he gets his face pummeled in. For a second Ed looked really proud to be taller than someone several years older than he but soon the look on his face faded as suddenly one of the mushrooms ran up to the group. He seemed old and had reading glasses, a light brown cap with darker spots and a strange looking cane.

"Master Mario! Master Luigi! Master…" the toad paused ", who is this fellow? Er, never mind that. It's terrible! The princess is in trouble again!"

"Bowser?" Mario looked bored and a little annoyed.

"Yes!"

"Figures. C'mon Toadsworth we got a handle on it."

As the four ran towards Princess Peach's castle, Edward had to ask ", Who is Bowser?"

"That's King Bowser Koopa and he is an evil tyrant who _constantly_ tries to kidnap the princess but his plan is always stopped in the end by us." Ed just looked confused ", Never mind, you'll see." They ran up to a large castle with a nice garden in the front and a stain glass window above the main entrance that Edward guessed was probably the princess. They quickly burst through the door. The first thing they saw was the princess backing up against a wall and Bowser closing in.

"Aw c'mon princess!" Bowser laughed ", you're making this too easy. Put up a fight at—"

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Ed jumped behind Luigi ", What is that thing?"

"What? It's just Bowser," Mario shrugged ", Not any crazier than any of the other stuff you've seen, or that I've seen."

"Are you kidding?" Edward pointed at Bowser ", It's huge!"

"Mario!" Bowser bellowed ", Don't you dare interrupt…hey wait a sec', who's blondie here?"

"That would be Edward Elric. Now let Princess Peach go!" Mario answered not to politely. Ed calmed down long enough to realize that Bowser was making off with the princess. He reacted quickly clapping his hands together and placing them on the floor creating a stone pillar that jut out of the ground hitting Bowser and forcing him to drop the princess.

"Y'know Ed?" Mario tapped him on the back ", I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"Yep. What the heck was that?"

"That? Oh just alchemy."

"Just?"

"Yeah…just."

Meanwhile Bowser got up and grabbed the princess.

"Master Mario, I don't mean to interrupt but," Toadsworth pointed at the window ", Bowser is getting away with the princess!"

"Mario! Luigi! Heeeelp!" Peach called out to them.

"Princess!" Mario ran to the window but Bowser was already in his Koopa Klown Kar and well on his way.

"Crud! He got away!" Luigi yelled.

"I daresay! What is that?" Toadsworth pointed up the stairs. Everyone looked upstairs to see someone dressed in a heavy suit of steel armor.

"Brother!" the person called beginning to run towards everyone. One of the guards went to stop him before he tripped on a random banana peel. _Who's eatin' bananas anyway, _the guard thought as he watched the armor guy slip, fall, and roll down the stairs landing with a crash. He sat up and scratched the back of his head ", Heh, heh. Oops."

"Al?" Edward ran over to the armor guy.

"Brother?" he replied.

"Al! How the hell did you get here?"

"Well, you see brother, I was in Central looking for you when the colonel approached me and told me you'd fallen down a weird green pipe. I thought that didn't make any sense but when I saw it the colonel said that wasn't the same one he saw before but I went in anyway and now I'm here." Everything was silent.

"Ed?" Mario looked totally confused.

"Huh? Oh sorry," Ed then gestured towards the armored guy ", This is my little brother Alphonse."

"Pleased to meet you." Alphonse bowed to them.

"Excuse me sir, did you say, little brother?" Toadsworth asked ", He's positively enormous!"

"Yes, I said _little _brother," Ed was shaking in his aggravation at that last comment. Suddenly a toad burst through the door.

"Toadsworth sir, Bowser's attacking the town!"

Me-So how was it? Good?

Bowser-It was only good cause I made an appearance!

Mario-Yeah, yeah whatever…

Edward-…

Alphonse-Please send in your reviews…that was kinda fun.


	6. Save the Town!

Me-I've been very busy lately so I haven't been able to type up any chapters so…here it is! Yayness!

Ed-…

Mario-Let's go!

Me-Okeydokey! Here it is!

Full Mario Alchemist

CHAPTER 6: Save the Town!

Everyone ran outside to see the town was being destroyed. Bowser flew in his clown car and shot fire balls down on the defenseless Toad Town.

"Bwahahahaha! Bow before me fools! For I am the great King Bowser Koopa!" he laughed maniacally.

"What the hell!? He can shoot fire balls out of his mouth!?," Ed shouted out giving away there position ", This must be some kind of dream or something!"

"If this was a dream, could I do this?" Bowser took a deep breath and let out a huge wave of fire. Ed had no time to think but his brother on the other hand was ready and transmuted a rock wall that blocked the fire.

"Brother, you have to pay attention," Al stated.

"Thanks Al."

Suddenly Mario jumped onto Luigi's shoulders and Luigi threw Mario towards Bowser's clown car. Mario pulled out his hammer and smashed the vehicle with such force that it was knocked to the ground and couldn't fly.

"My clown car!" Bowser stomped the ground in anger ", my beautiful clown car! Look what you've done to it! I still haven't even finished paying it off either!" Bowser growled and pulled out a walky talky. "Kammy! Get my doom ship over here and carry me out! Oh, and send some Mecha-Koopas! I wanna have a little fun with these fools!"

"Bower! Hand over Princess Peach!" Mario demanded.

"Not likely! Heh heh! Prepare to be barbecued you little pest!"

Ed had to think quickly. He clapped his hands and placed them on the ground. Suddenly in a flash of light a giant hand jut out of the ground under Bowser and grabbed him.

"Now! Attack him!"

Mario's hands were suddenly engulfed in fire. He jumped in the air and threw balls of fire at Bowser. The trapped Koopa King burst out of the giant stone hand and punched Mario sending him smashing into a wall.

"You can use alchemy?" Ed asked Mario thinking the fireballs were the result of just that. Before Mario could answer Bowser grabbed him.

"This is the end Mario! Say good-bye! Bwahahahahahahahahaa!" Bowser began to squeeze. But before he could crush Mario, Luigi jumped towards Bowser with his fist surrounded by electricity and punched him in the back of the head, electrocuting him. This caused him to drop Mairo.

"I'm free! Thanks Luigi," Mario wiped the sweat from his forehead.

Suddenly, Bowser's doom ship appeared in the sky.

"What the hell is that!?" Ed asked in astonishment at the huge air ship.

"That would be the doom ship," Mario answered.

It lowered down to the ground and an old had of a magikoopa, Kammy Koopa, flew down on her brom.

"Your nastiness! The doom ship has arrived!" she spoke in a raspy old voice.

"Nicely done you brainy hag you! Let's get out of here with the princess and leave these morons to the mecha-koopas!" Bowser jumped onto a platform that lowered form the doom ship. It rose back up into ship and suddenly, mechanical clockwork koopas dropped off the edge of the deck and into the town.

"Smell ya later losers! Bwahahahahahahaa!" Bowser let out one last evil laugh before the ship flew back towards his castle.

"This could be a problem," Luigi pointed out as the mecha-koopas surrounded them ", but, not a big one…I hope."

Edward transmuted a spear from the ground and stabbed one of them right through the head. It continued on walking though! Ed quickly pulled the spear out.

"How do you kill these things?"

"It takes a lot to get rid of them, but I might know just how," Mario grinned jumping front of Luigi ", are you ready Luigi?"

"Huh? Oh right!"

"Let's go!"

Luigi charged up electricity near his hand and jumped on Mario's back. He bounced off and over the enemies releasing it in a blot that struck the ground and spread out across the ground. "Thunder Brothers!" Both Mario and Luigi yelled out in unison as the mecha-koopas were zapped and short-circuited. Ed and Al stared wide-eyed at the move they just pulled off.

"That was incredible!" Al practiacally shouted in Mario's face ", Uh…sorry about that…but how did you do that?"

"Practice, I guess," Mario replied casually.

"But the lightning and the fire and stuff, what about that?"

"That's easy Al," Edward butt into the conversation ", Mario's using alchemy similar to the colonel, only instead of it exploding, he's containing it then releasing it in balls of flame. Luigi must be using alchemy to transfer electrons creating electricity and containing that then finally releasing it as well."

"Alchemy? Not quite Ed," Mario replied ", Luigi and I have mastered the firebrand and the thunder hand techniques. That's all."

"The what? That doesn't make any sense," Ed pointed out being the logical scientific person he is.

"Doesn't matter," Luigi interrupted ", what matters is that we need to go save the princess!"

"Yeah! Follow us!" Mario began to walk out of town.

"Wait!" Al stopped him ", Do you think you can teach us moves like that?"

"Al!" Ed scolded ", We don't have time! Let's go."

"Okay…"

They began to walk down a grassy path with a creek, strange bushes and trees with square leaves and even weirder, these cylinder shaped blue and green things with eyes. Ed stared back at them thinking they were almost creepy they were so life-like, but he was sure they weren't alive.

"Where are we?" Al asked.

"This is Pleasant Path," Mario answered ", It's leads you to Koopa Village where one of my friends lives."

"But aren't koopas those turtle things that was with that Bowser guy?" Ed asked, confused.

"Yes but those ones are loyal to Bowser. These guys are peaceful."

As they continued walking suddenly something hit Mario and Luigi in the head and they both fell unconscious. Ed and Al turned around to see four koopas with different colored shells and headbands.

"What do you think your doing?" Ed demanded ", and who the hell are you?"

"We're the Koopa Brothers!" the red one, which Ed figured was the leader, answered ", and we're capturing these guys so run along and, go…play hide n' seek or whatever it is that you kids do."

"Uh, excuse me? I'm not a little kid!" Ed yelled.

"Really? I thought you would be younger considering your size shrimp! Hahahaha…" he was cut off by Ed's screaming.

"Shrimp! SHRIMP!! I AM NOT A SHRIMP DAMMIT!! WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M SHORT WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT!!? BESIDES, LOOK WHO'S TALKIN'!! YOUR SHORTER THAN I AM YOU FRIGGIN' IDIOT!!"

"Oh well," Red casually replied ", Black! Green! Yellow! Let's get out of here!"

Suddenly they ran off with the Mario Bros.

"HEY!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!! DAMMIT GET BACK HERE!!"

"Ed, calm down," Al held him back ", let's just find the Koopa Village Mario was talking about. Maybe they know more about these Koopa Brothers."

"Whatever…"

Ed reluctantly followed his younger brother down the path and towards Koopa Village, where they would hopefully find more about the Koopa Bros. so they can save Mario and Luigi…as weird as that is.

Mario-What!? Luigi and I get captured!?

Luigi-That's…humiliating.

Ed-Ha! You guys got captured before us!

Mario-…

Al-Ed, don't be like that. They weren't expecting it.

Me-Anyway, please review as I really…like…reviews…yeah…

Authors Notes:

-I'm not sure if Edward knows about electrons and atoms and stuff but I needed something for him to say…

-I'm not even sure if transferring electrons is how electricity is created…but that's okay.


End file.
